The MrTourette Translator · Adults only

Type something nice.
We'll ruin it.

How ruined?
Showing the redacted version

Put it on…

Printed with the exact words you see — redacted or unredacted, your call.

Ready-ruined

Our favourite translations, already printed.

About MrTourette

Laughing with it. Never at anyone.

MrTourette started with a simple idea: everyday life is full of tiny, polite requests — and some brains answer them in ways nobody planned. The Translator lets you hear it for yourself, then print it. We turn those moments into merch that's loud, rude and, hopefully, very funny.

The humour is affectionate and in on the joke. Tourette's is real, and so is the frustration of people staring. If our stuff makes someone laugh instead of stare, we've done our job.

  • Strictly 18+Strong language throughout. Not for kids, work meetings or your nan (unless she's brilliant).
  • Printed to orderEach piece is made when you order it, so less waste and fewer unwanted mugs.
  • Redacted or unredactedFlip the switch up top to see every slogan blacked out or in its full glory.
  • Seven kinds of funny, three levels of ruinClassic, Absurd, Black humour, Passive-aggressive, Posh, Insult artist or Deadpan. Then Ruined, Totally ruined or F****d.

Help

The boring bit. Sorry.

Delivery & returns

Where we deliver

UK, Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man.

Cost

£3.95 per order. Free on orders of £40 or more.

How long

Everything is printed to order in the UK. Mugs, stickers and totes usually leave us within 3 working days, clothing within 5, counted from payment (orders after 1pm count from the next working day). Royal Mail tracked delivery then takes 1–3 working days, a little longer to the islands. Allow 4–10 working days in total.

Changes and cancellations

Orders go to print automatically, so check your wording and size before you pay. If you spot a mistake, email us straight away with your order number and we'll try to catch it, but we can't promise.

Changed your mind?

Custom Translator designs are made to your wording, so we can't take them back unless they're faulty. Ready-ruined designs can be returned unused within 14 days of delivery: email us first for the return address. You pay return postage; we refund the item price within 14 days of getting it back.

Faulty, damaged or misprinted

Email us a photo and your order number, ideally within 48 hours if it arrived damaged, and within 28 days for print or manufacturing faults. We'll replace it or refund you. Your statutory rights are not affected.

Lost in the post

If nothing has turned up 10 working days after your order was dispatched, tell us and we'll chase it.

Size guide

Unisex fits. Width is measured flat across the chest, so double it for the full chest. Measurements in cm, ±2cm.

T-shirt · Gildan Softstyle

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest34–36″38–40″42–44″46–48″50–52″
Width4651566166
Length7174767881

Hoodie · AWDis College Hoodie

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest36″40″44″48″52″
Width5156616569
Length6770737679

Sweatshirt · AWDis Sweat

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest36″40″44″48″52″
Width5256606468
Length6871747780

Everything else

Mug: 11oz white ceramic, design printed all the way round. Tote: 100% cotton, 38 × 42cm, long handles. Sticker: 75mm die-cut vinyl.

Contact

Questions, problems or a slogan that went too far? Email us and include your order number (it starts MRT-) if you have one.

We usually reply within 2 working days.

Who we are

MrTourette is a trading name of This Way Up Distribution Ltd, registered in England and Wales, company number 16600736. Registered office: 809 Salisbury House, 29 Finsbury Circus, London EC2M 7AQ.

Get new slogans before your mum does.