The MrTourette Translator · Adults only

Type something nice.
We'll ruin it.

How ruined?
Showing the redacted version

Put it on…

Printed with the exact words you see — redacted or unredacted, your call.

Ready-ruined

Our favourite translations, already printed.

About MrTourette

Laughing with it. Never at anyone.

MrTourette started with a simple idea: everyday life is full of tiny, polite requests — and some brains answer them in ways nobody planned. The Translator lets you hear it for yourself, then print it. We turn those moments into merch that's loud, rude and, hopefully, very funny.

The humour is affectionate and in on the joke. Tourette's is real, and so is the frustration of people staring. If our stuff makes someone laugh instead of stare, we've done our job.

  • Strictly 18+Strong language throughout. Not for kids, work meetings or your nan (unless she's brilliant).
  • Printed to orderEach piece is made when you order it, so less waste and fewer unwanted mugs.
  • Redacted or unredactedFlip the switch up top to see every slogan blacked out or in its full glory.
  • Seven kinds of funny, three levels of ruinClassic, Absurd, Black humour, Passive-aggressive, Posh, Insult artist or Deadpan. Then Ruined, Totally ruined or F****d.

Help

The boring bit. Sorry.

Delivery & returns

Where we deliver

UK, Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man.

Cost

£4.49 per order. Free on orders of £40 or more.

How long

Everything is printed to order in the UK. Mugs, stickers and totes usually leave us within 3 working days, clothing within 5, counted from payment (orders after 1pm count from the next working day). Royal Mail tracked delivery then takes 1–3 working days, a little longer to the islands. Allow 4–10 working days in total.

Changing your order

Orders go to print automatically, so check your wording and size before you pay. If you spot a mistake, email us straight away with your order number and we'll try to catch it, but we can't promise.

Changed your mind?

Ready-ruined designs: you can cancel within 14 days of the day your order arrives, no reason needed. Just email us your order number and say you're cancelling (you can use the form below, but you don't have to), and we'll send you the return address. Post the items back within 14 days of telling us. You pay return postage.

We refund the item price, plus the standard delivery charge if you send back the whole order, within 14 days of getting the items back (or of you showing proof of posting, if that's sooner), to your original payment method. Feel free to try things on as you would in a shop. We may deduct for wear or damage beyond that.

Custom Translator designs are printed with your own wording, so the 14-day cancellation right doesn't apply to them. That doesn't affect your rights if anything is faulty.

Cancellation form

To: MrTourette (This Way Up Distribution Ltd), 809 Salisbury House, 29 Finsbury Circus, London EC2M 7AQ. Email: hello@mrtourette.com

I/We hereby give notice that I/We cancel my/our contract of sale of the following goods: [items]
Ordered on [date] / received on [date]
Order number: [MRT-…]
Name: [name]
Address: [address]
Signature (only if sent on paper)
Date: [date]

Faulty, damaged or misprinted

Your rights under the Consumer Rights Act 2015 apply to everything we sell, Translator designs included. Email us a photo and your order number as soon as you can. Within 30 days of delivery you're entitled to a full refund. After that we'll repair or replace it, and refund you if that doesn't put it right. We cover the cost of sending faulty items back.

If it arrived damaged, a photo within a couple of days helps us claim from the courier, but that isn't a deadline for you.

Lost in the post

Your order is our responsibility until it reaches you. If nothing has arrived 10 working days after dispatch, tell us and we'll send a replacement or refund you.

Size guide

Unisex fits. Width is measured flat across the chest, so double it for the full chest. Measurements in cm, ±2cm.

T-shirt · Gildan Softstyle

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest34–36″38–40″42–44″46–48″50–52″
Width4651566166
Length7174767881

Hoodie · AWDis College Hoodie

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest36″40″44″48″52″
Width5156616569
Length6770737679

Sweatshirt · AWDis Sweat

SizeSMLXLXXL
To fit chest36″40″44″48″52″
Width5256606468
Length6871747780

Everything else

Mug: 11oz white ceramic, design printed all the way round. Tote: 100% cotton, 38 × 42cm, long handles. Sticker: 75mm die-cut vinyl.

Contact

Questions, problems or a slogan that went too far? Email us and include your order number (it starts MRT-) if you have one.

We usually reply within 2 working days.

Who we are

MrTourette is a trading name of This Way Up Distribution Ltd, registered in England and Wales, company number 16600736. Registered office: 809 Salisbury House, 29 Finsbury Circus, London EC2M 7AQ.

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